Be true to yourself.
This is the only way to live in alignment with God and fulfill your Soul’s purpose. This is how you first leave the Divine for this human lifetime – with those words.
No child is born with the knowledge or ability to lie. That is a learned behavior, often learned through the parents in unexpected ways. Instead of being honest with our kids, we make up what we think are more digestible reasons for why we need to, or don’t want them to do a certain thing. This white lie that we tell them starts an avalanche effect on them and on ourselves. The more that we are unable to be truthful to ourselves or be real about who we are and how we truly show up in this lifetime. The more we erode our self-worth without ever meaning to.
Truth requires an honest assessment of ourselves. Who and how do we want to show up in this world?
Do we want to live from a place of integrity?
Do we want to live from a place of convenience?
Living a life of convenience is actually highly inconvenient. Being truthful is simple but not easy.
It requires a trust in God that there is no better way to live this life than with complete honesty.
As Mahatma Gandhi said – his life was an experiment with truth and it is from this that he helped India gain her independence from the British Raj. The truth indeed will set us free.
What is it then that compels us to shade the truth? In the name of success we are dishonest with ourselves in so many different ways.
I find that in our attempt to fit in and be liked or be important we tend to take on obligations or interactions that we would rather not. Instead of being real, we aspire to be nice. The practice of always saying YES is exactly this – being nice instead of being real.
We believe that we are able to take on innumerable activities into our lives in our quest for success or happiness. We fill our lives and days with activity whether or not we really have the desire, the time or the ability to take them on. We tell ourselves we are doing it for a purpose; for our community, for our kids, for our family or even for ourselves. But perhaps we are stretched so thin that we had no business taking something else on. This then is being nice instead of being real.
Saying yes to everything is our way of feeling successful.
But what is success?
If success is feeling a sense of accomplishment at having done something worthwhile – ask yourself why?
Why is success tied to this activity?
Is happiness tied to this?
Did you take this on out of obligation or true feeling of wanting to do this thing and if its the former, then why? What is this sense of obligation that you feel?
Do you not have an obligation to yourself? To your relationship with God?
What if our worth was tied to how God saw us, versus how we want the world to see us?
What if the only thing that matters is how God sees us?
Would you live, act or behave differently?
Most of us believe we have to have different personas with different people in our lives. I can certainly relate to this. I remember I was a completely different person around my friends, than I was with my then boyfriend, versus how I was with my family. Even within my family, I was different with my immediate family than I was with my extended family. All these different personas to keep track of, all these different masks to wear. And behind the masks, the truth of me was getting distorted to the point where I was losing who I truly was. Am I crying for no reason because of a true anxiety attack or for attention? Or is that the same? Is having an anxiety attack our body’s way of getting OUR attention?
The journey of our life brings on the need for facades, because we don’t develop coping skills to deal with the trauma and loss that life inevitably throws our way. We become incapable of continuing our emotional, social and spiritual growth if we don’t confront our trauma. Every step in our journey is an opportunity for a deeper connection to God, to truly walk with Him and yet we opt to walk alone.
We opt to do it in a way that often doesn’t serve us. Truth telling at all costs is like a muscle we need to develop. It takes continual work and effort. However the freedom is worth it.
So how do we get to be this honest with ourselves?
It starts with a desire to walk with God. With a knowing that you are of God and from God.
A faith that truth = God’s Way.
An inherent belief that the truth may hurt but will never harm.
A knowing that this is the only way to love.
A love of self that will allow you to be true and heal wounds.
Entrust all that you have on your shoulders over to Him. To let Him shoulder your burdens.
Let Him run your life.
A true emptying of your plans from your mind and a handing over to Him.
Years ago, I experienced complete devastation. I found myself incapable of the simplest tasks. My mind couldn’t comprehend what was required of me to be a wife, a mother, a productive member of my community. I remember being in complete despair and wanting to shrink into myself, stay in bed with the covers over my head, instead of sucking at everything I did daily. I wanted to quit life.
From the depths of this despair, I found myself in a place of complete surrender. I remember saying these words “I give up. I suck at this life thing. I’m out, you’re in. You take over. I’m letting my hands off the wheel.”
I am sure it is no surprise to you that I found myself completely held. Cocooned in God’s love, certain that I was safe. Like being caught in a safety net after jumping off the ledge. Slowly I rebuilt my mind, my shattered heart and my spirit from this place. I got still, and really quiet and learned to trust and accept His direction. I prioritized meditation and prayer. I learned to listen to the signs my body gave me. I started to say No to things that didn’t serve. I started to pay attention to His nudges. The nudges are subtle, because after all, as human beings, we do have free will. The nudges require listening with quiet ears. He is not loud, flashy or obvious. Ego on the other hand is.
The more you listen, the better you get at listening.
The simpler and richer life gets.
And you find yourself being more accomplished, more fulfilled and happier than you have ever been.
And you wonder why you thought life was hard.